My BlackBerry and Me

Have you ever felt like there is a little girl or boy trapped inside your grownup body? I have that experience every once in a while. Instead of feeling like a twenty four year old, sometimes it feels like there’s a fourteen year old controlling my thoughts, emotions and even my actions and words. I am one of a select few who is really satisfied with my BlackBerry smartphone. I’ve never had any problems with it, and it does everything I need a phone to do. Having said that, my BlackBerry has also exposed some of my deepest flaws. My BlackBerry has made me realize that I often have a twisted longing for recognition and connection. I’ve realized that I have a slight addiction to the little red flashing light of my phone; to the point that I sometimes can’t take my eyes off my phone. ‘What if someone needs me?’ ‘What if I miss something?’ I’ve also noticed that I sometimes engage in social media purely because I have a deep need of receiving affirmation. It sometimes happens that I cannot wait to see if someone is going to like my Facebook status, or leave a comment. I have sometimes tweeted purely in the hope of receiving a retweet or gaining a new follower or two. There was a time when I couldn’t go to sleep before checking my blog stats on my phone. A friend of mine advised me that he has decided not to check his stats. I have started doing the same, and it has been one of the most liberating things I have done. I am very thankful for my BlackBerry for not failing me like some people’s phones have done. But more than that, I am thankful for my BlackBerry for showing me how twisted my longing for affection, intimacy, recognition, affirmation and connection has been at times. You will not find affirmation or recognition on Facebook or Twitter, or by writing blogs. You won’t find affection, intimacy or connection by ‘connecting’ with a person through your phone. You won’t find it by watching porn either. It can only be found in a living relationship with God. His unconditional love for the world is affirmed in His son, Jesus Christ. When this is what shapes me and moves me, trying to find recognition and affirmation anywhere else really seems pretty silly. When authentic followers of Christ meet, community can be found. There is community because our thirst for connection is quenched by Christ. When my deepest need for connection is met in Jesus, I am truly capable of connecting with other people. I have often been reminded that I try to fill my longing for affirmation, recognition and connection by the way I use my BlackBerry. How about you?